How can I deal with how I feel?
That could be:
You have a lot to deal with. Having at least one person who can listen, provide support, answer questions and give advice when you need it can make all the difference. It's better not to hide your feelings and pretend that everything is okay when it isn't.
Ways to work through your emotions include:
If you do chat online, never use your real name or put any personal information in your profile. It's very important to safeguard your privacy and protect yourself from online predators.
It's important that you get on with your own life and as many of your normal activities as possible - such as school, seeing friends, sports, clubs, music and hobbies.
Try not to keep yourself away from friends or put off having them over to your house. Let them know what's going on. Remember, don't cut yourself off! If you spend long periods alone, it's likely to make you feel more lonely and upset.
‘Going with my friends helped... they gave me a break and made me feel good about myself.' (Girl, aged 14)
Sometimes it can be hard to get the separation out of your head. Take a mental break and switch off for a while. Spend time doing things you enjoy. Treat yourself. Have some fun. It's good to have a laugh!
Most communities have support groups for teenagers whose parents have separated, such as TeenBetween or Rainbow's ‘Spectrum' programme. Talk to your parents about getting involved or check out the Finding Help section.
‘It [teen counselling] has kind of taught me how to speak and talk about how I felt... so it's easier now to say how I feel.' (Girl, aged 16)
What can I do if my feelings don’t change?
There are many feelings about separation that are common, such as sadness, anger and confusion. The intensity of these feelings usually lessen over time. But sometimes emotions such as sadness or anger won’t go away, continue to hurt deeply and make it hard for you to enjoy the good things about your life. When this happens, talk with someone you trust about the way you feel, like a parent, friend or a close relative.
It’s better to ask for help or advice rather than struggle on alone. Never be embarrassed about asking for help. Everyone goes through difficult times in life at some point.
It’s possible to talk with people outside your family too. Other people who can help are:
There is always someone to help when you are sad, feeling depressed or your emotions feel out-of-control. Check out the Help Section for contact details of support services for teenagers.