David's Story
In David’s home, the shouting and punching have finally stopped.
But the trauma remains.
David, eight, is dealing with so much anger. And who can blame him? That is all he knows.
At his young age, a child should be smiling, laughing, playing. Instead, David clenches his fists so hard he gets marks on his hands.
When he first came in to Barnardos, you could see the tension in his body. His fists were clenched and his jaw too. He could not stand being touched. When given some art supplies to draw what was he was feeling, he pressed the pencils so hard on the piece of paper that it tore.
Can you help David receive the support he needs by donating today?
David’s dad had never been around. He and his Mam Sarah lived for several years with Sarah’s partner, who was abusive.
David has both seen the violence directed at his mam and experienced it himself. Shouting and crying were daily occurrences in his home. And sometimes it escalated to hitting, punching, and kicking. And it would start again before the bruising from the previous time even had time to heal.
On top of the recurring physical violence, there was constant emotional abuse too.
David was often stuck in the middle, his stepfather asking him where Sarah was, with who and what she was doing. If David didn’t go along with it, then his stepfather would become violent. David admitted he felt so ashamed for telling him where she was. He thought he was letting his mam down.
Sarah eventually left her partner, and he no longer lives with them. But what didn’t go away is the trauma. David has been through so much pain, both physical and emotional. And he carries it with him every single day.
In 2022, Barnardos revealed that over one in four children and young people attending Barnardos services had experienced domestic violence and abuse at some point in their life. (Barnardos Annual Report 2022).
Sarah and David started attending TLC Kidz in Barnardos, a 12-week programme designed to help children and their mothers to recover and heal from domestic violence and abuse.
For so long, David felt like he didn’t have a voice. And he didn’t know what to do with all that built-up anger. So, he expressed his overwhelming emotions by punching and breaking things. In Barnardos, he found a place where he is empowered to have his voice heard, to be believed and validated.
Domestic violence and abuse can have a disastrous impact on a child’s development and future mental health. That’s why it is so important that they have their voices heard and are supported in learning how to influence their own lives. Through the programme David is learning to build resilience and develop a sense of agency.
Meanwhile, in the mothers’ group, Sarah is learning how to best support David in healing from the impact of the abuse and how to keep David and herself safe. The programme is also helping to strengthen their bond and to communicate better, so they can heal together.
David is making such progress since he started attending Barnardos. But his traumatic experience will not go away overnight. It will take time and effort until he can trust other people again, and until he can believe in a better future for himself.
Please make a donation today to help David and other children who have suffered through domestic violence recover from trauma, and keep them safe. You can help change what their lives will look like tomorrow and in years to come.
If you have been affected by the issues described in this story, you will find details for various support organisations on our site.
While David’s story is true, we have changed all names and some other details in order to protect the family’s identity. Photos used are models.
Childhood Domestic Violence & Abuse Supports
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