This section is for young people who are concerned about domestic abuse.
Domestic abuse (or fighting/hurting) is when abuse or violence is used by one person to hurt, bully, or control another person in a relationship.
It may be something that is happening in your life, or to someone that you know and care about. Or maybe it is something you want to understand better.
The facts about domestic abuse aren’t easy reading, but it can affect anyone. Many young people grow up seeing a parent being hurt or living in fear and may be victims themselves. It doesn’t just happen at home. Domestic abuse also includes abuse by other relatives, boyfriends, girlfriends or ex-partners. If it is happening in your life, it probably means you are living with a lot of stress, fear, anger, sadness or guilt.
How Can I Keep Safe
If you can, find a safe place
Here are some examples from other children: Your Bedroom, Outside, Grannys, Bathroom, Garden, Neighbours house
If its safe – Phone Emergency Services
Phone: 999 or 112
The operator will ask you if you want to speak to a Gardai / Ambulance / Fire.
Tell them your name, your address if you know it or a nearby landmark, tell them what is happening if you can.
All Feelings Are OK
Sometimes I felt afraid or scared, Sad, Cross, Angry, Undermined, Hurt, Worried
Who are my safe and trusted people?
Draw around your hand and in each finger name a person in your life who you feel you can talk to about your feelings. Maybe, Mammy, a teacher or a neighbour... OR if you are not feeling safe. Think - Sharing my plan? - Which of my safe and trusted people can I share my plan with?
Its Not Your Fault
You are responsible for:
Brushing your teeth Tidying your room Your own behaviour – What you say and do
You are not responsible for:
Providing food for your family/ Keeping your family safe The fighting and hurting at home: Other peoples words and behaviours You are not responsible for what happened between your mum and dad. Some children may think it is their fault but it never is.
Taking care of myself
Make time for play & friends.
Get enough rest. Eat well
Do the things you love and make you feel good.
Ask yourself... What makes me feel good?
FAQs
What is Domestic Violence & Abuse
Domestic abuse (or fighting/hurting) is when abuse or violence is used by one person to hurt, bully, or control another person in a relationship.
- Domestic Abuse can happen in any relationship, Domestic abuse is more often used by men against women, but it can also be used by women against men. It can also happen in same sex relationships between gay or lesbian couples
- Domestic abuse can happen in relationships where couples are married, living together, going out with each other or even living apart.
- It is often a pattern that starts early in a relationship and gets worse over time.
- Domestic Abuse can take many forms
- Physical: A grown up may, hit, punch, push, hair-pull, shake, kick another grown up?
- Emotional: A grown up may put down, curse or criticise, call names or threaten another grown up?
- Financial: A grown up may not be allowed have any money or go to work?
- Sexual: If someone is being forced to have sex at times or in ways you do not want to, being raped.
- A grown up sending hundreds of text message wanting to know where another grown up is?
Young People & Dating
Domestic Violence and abuse can also affect young people in their own dating relationships
If you are worried about abuse in your own dating relationship please visit TooIntoYou.
Discover the signs of intimate relationship abuse, take the relationship quiz and check out the tips for keeping yourself and your friends safe
What Are Your Rights?
The UN Convention on the Rights of the Child (which Ireland signed up to in 1992) provides many rights to all children and young people. It declares:
- To be protected and live free violence, abuse or harm.
- To be brought up by your parents in a family, unless it is not in your interests.
- To express your views and to have them taken into account in matters affecting you.
- To have decision affecting you made in your best interest.
- To be treated with dignity and respect.
- To be free from discrimination.
More Support Services
- turn2me is a high-quality, safe, anonymous, and confidential space for you to gain support for your mental health online.
- ChildLine in the Republic of Ireland’s freephone 24 hour listening service. 1800 666 666 All calls are free of charge and confidential. Text ‘list’ to 50101 (This is an automated free text support service)
- The Citizens Information Service provides free information about all public services in Ireland. Lo-call 1890 777 121
- Child and Family Agency supports Family Resource Centres, marriage/ relationship, bereavement & child counselling services and operates the Family Mediation Service.
- The Family Resource Centre National Forum is a national representative body working with Family Resource Centres located in communities throughout Ireland.
- Teenfocus is a support service to teenagers 13–18yrs who are experiencing difficulties. It is run by the Irish Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children.
- SpunOut is an online interactive support and information service for young people. It covers a range of issues relevant to young peoples’ lives and provides useful signposts to support services available.
- Teen-Line Ireland is a confidential helpline service for teenagers, dealing with any problems or worries they are experiencing. Freephone helpline: 1800 833 634 8-11pm or Text ‘Teen’ to 50015
- Youth Information Centres are based in many towns and cities and provide a free, confidential, service to young people and to those who work with them, on wide range of subjects including careers, education, employment matters, rights and entitlements, leisure, sport, travel and european opportunities.
- The National Youth Council of Ireland is a representative body for voluntary national youth organisations. It can help you to find youth services in your area.
- Changing futures website
- Barnardos TLC KIDZ project
- DV service where there are childrens workers available to help you: Where to find help – Safe Ireland
Me 2U Poster - Download
This Me2U poster was created by children and young people who have lived with domestic violence and abuse. It shares their advice for other children and young people living with domestic violence and abuse. Feel free to download this and share it.
